The courage to drive people away

Let's face it. Most sane people like to be liked. In addition, most writers like to be liked, as well. I want you to like me.

I want you to like my writing, too. But maybe that's a fatal mistake.

On a regular basis, I read Seth Godin's blog. If you're looking for a blueprint about how a knowledge economy works--and that's where our craft is headed--Seth's book Tribes describes what a knowledge economy feels like. His approach to business is a great one for building readership, especially now that the tools are available online.

In his blog, he linked to another blog called Makin Ads, which described a night at a music club. The bands there were good, but the most memorable act of the night wasn't a band. He wasn't extraordinarily talented. He sat in the middle of the room with an acoustic guitar and started singing. In doing so, he made it a point to personally engage each person in the place.

A lot of people, not used to the difference, left. For those who stayed, he was the most unforgettable act.

A few days ago, I wrote about Cornelia Read's book, which severely damaged her relationship with her mother. If the book is well-executed, it'll help people deal with the wounds caused by sexual abuse. It's easy to say from here, but that benefit outweighs the harm done to the woman who, in this case, allowed the sexual abuse to occur.

In some cases, your best, most personal work may be the thing that alienates people the most. You may strain or even break some friendships. Your thought processes may grind to a sudden halt as you recognize the risk you take with what you write.

The next line is supposed to be take the risk anyway. No blog can tell you that. You have to determine that for yourself. The opportunity cost may be too great, and that's okay.

But think about the guy sitting in the middle of the music hall--the one who drove a lot of people away because it wasn't the comfortable presentation everyone was used to. He wasn't better than everyone else, but he was truer than everyone else.

When the time comes, I hope I have the courage for that kind of truth.